Sometimes it takes a village ......

The old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" couldn't be more true...
Sadly, our closest family members live about three and a half hours away from us. We try very hard not to be "that" couple, who relies on their family for help. We decided to move away and start a family on our own- and that's how we know we have to raise them. Without the constant help or crutch of family. But in the event we need them, all we have to do is ask, and they will hop in the car and head South. This held true while we left to travel to China to bring our sweet Daughter home and the same is true now, as we are recouping from her palate surgery.
Thank goodness for the blessing of loved ones. They will come and cook, clean, shuttle kids to and from school and activities, do laundry, and simply sit with you when you need some company. We are so lucky to have this family that CARES...that WANTS to help, that LOVES us, and wants to help make things easier for us. Not only have they been a lifesaver to my husband and I, but the Boys have SO enjoyed having them all here..to play with them, help them with homework, snuggle with them. It has been great-all around....

While we were in the hospital with Mia..our middle son received his Orange striped belt from karate and our oldest Son lost his 2nd tooth!! Big things for a Momma to miss..ya know?? I had alot of time invested in that tooth! Lots of wiggling..lots of brushing it..hoping it would come out on MY watch. Oh well...regardless..the Tooth Fairy came..and that's all that mattered to him. I also really missed seeing Alex's belt ceremony, but was lucky enough to have it videoed, so that I could see it later.

While my Dad was here, Alex enjoyed helping him cook dinner each night. As we would sit down to eat, he would announce.."This is the best meal EVER...beacuse I helped cook it!!". I can't begin to tell you how nice it was to get warm, home cooked meals every night by someone ELSE!!! Thanks, Dad!!! I LOVE your cooking!!!

We are so proud of our Boys. We realize that by adding to our family, especially a little one with some immediate needs, has been a little tough for them. Less of our time, less of our attention...but they are AMAZING. They just go with the flow and let us know when they are lacking .something...we are truly blessed to have such amazing kids...
Although..I AM a little partial.......;-))))

Well, as the last little bit of family leaves, I realize it is time to find our way back to our routine. Now that Mia is feeling a little better, I think we are going to do just fine. Although I have to admit, it gets a little lonely without them here. I hate so much that we live apart from our loved ones. We love being here and "doing it on our own", but I hate that the kids are apart from their sweet family. While we didn't particularly enjoy the "reason" (surgery) for their visits, we are SO thankful to have had this time to spend with them. There is nothing more special than a supportive family...

Blessings,
Angie

If you give a boy some water...

If you give a boy an empty squirt bottle...and some water....

He can stay occupied for a long while......

He will spray everything.

He will wash your windows.

Water your plants.

Wash the tile.

Bathe himself.

Bathe the poor Dog.

He will stay occupied for a loooong time.
And you can get that load of laundry folded..

Mother's Day

I want to begin this post by wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mothers who selflessly give all they have to their Children. No matter how tired, frazzled, sick or worn out they are; Mothers stay the course. They don't get to "take a day off", "call in sick", "have a bad day"....they keep on truckin, taking care of their babies. They carry the load of the family, making sure the meals are made, the clothes are washed, the butts are wiped, the teeth are brushed, the boo-boos are kissed and the night time prayers are said. A Mother's love for her children transcends all other loves. It never waivers and can be felt far after the two become separated. My wish is that all of my sweet Mother friends enjoy THIS day and remember how blessed we are to have this title of MOTHER.
I also want to send up a special prayer for those who long to BECOME Mothers; those who struggle with infertility. Along our adoption journey, I was privileged to meet so many families, who all came to adoption through different avenues. Some of those families struggled with infertility for years, unable to conceive on their own, and now are celebrating their first ever Mother's Day, with their newly adopted child. For those out there who still find themselves mother-less, continue to find faith in the promise that you WILL find your child...while you may go on to not bear children of your own, you may find that you WILL fill a motherly role for SOMEONE along your journey...perhaps a friend, an elder, or an unrelated child. Do not lose heart in that promise.
I also send my thoughts to those who have lost their Mother. My Mother passed away almost 14 years ago. While each Mother's Day is difficult, I chose several years ago to not focus on the Mother I have lost, but to appreciate the fact that I have become a Mother, myself. Definitely changed my somber perspective. I would spend those early Mothers Day completely depressed. Having to buy Mothers Day cards for the other women in my life just broke my heart. I should be buying MY Mother a card..not someone else. But once I had my own Children, I realized that my focus on this special day needed to shift. Sure, I miss my Mom dearly..but this day is also to celebrate the title of being a Mom..and boy, am I blessed to carry that title. It's a day to celebrate the family that I helped create, the Mother that I am to my precious children. It';s also a day to Celebrate those extraordinary women in my family that I still have here to hug...my Aunt, my Grandmother. I love these women more than anything and am so fortunate to have them here to celebrate. The women remaining in my family have all rallied together and fill that motherly void in my life. They were there right beside me when I got married, present for the births of my Boys, my goodness..it was only fitting that my dear Aunt was even WITH me when we got our referral call about our sweet baby girl's file!!. They are there with me through every big event. They give me advice, a shoulder to cry on, an ear when I need to vent (poor things!!). I love these women with all of my heart, and so I decided to spend my Mother's Days thanking God for THEM.

My sweet husband always does the BEST job at making our special holidays mean so much. Whether its my Birthday, Anniversary or Mothers Day..he makes sure that it is extra special. Yep, I would definitely say I'm one spoiled Momma!

This year, I woke to a beautiful arrangement of flowers, some sweet homemade gifts from my sweet Boys (which, yes..included a recordable Christmas Charlie Brown book??) (Not sure where that idea came from? But I love it...), a new mini IPAD, since my original IPAD is most often confiscated and held for ransom by one of the Boys. My hubby even had my new mini engraved on the back..."Mommy's IPAD...Do Not Touch!!"..Gotta love that!!! We enjoyed a beautiful morning at Church, a lovely afternoon on the boat and my favorite meal cooked for dinner by my sweet hubby....

It was a perfect Day!!

Of course, I am so happy to celebrate THIS Mothers Day as a Mother of 3. Our sweet girl is the Daughter I have always longed for. She has filled a place in our hearts that had remained empty, and I am beyond blessed to be her Forever Mother.

As I go to bed tonight, I will say 2 prayers. One to my Mother, who I know is looking over me everyday. She has watched my every move and will always have a part of my heart. The other prayer will go up to our sweet girl's Birth Mother. We will never meet, she will most likely never know her Daughter, but nonetheless, she is the MOTHER of my child. She carried her, labored with her, delivered her and because of circumstances beyond her control, was forced to leave her where she could be found and hopefully raised by another. She gave her LIFE so that we could give her LOVE......

A Mother's Love never fails......

blessings,
angie

the sweet things about Summer.....

Wanna know one of the things I LOVE about Summer???

Fresh Strawberries!!!!

Nick's class went on a Field Trip to the local Strawberry patch and brought us back some yummy, ripe strawberries!! Thanks, Nick!!!!

Every year we meet up with our buddies and go strawberry picking together. We are already planning this year's trip. So excited that sweet baby girl will be with us this year!!

Sweet blessings,
Angie

Post-op Visit

Today we headed back to the Surgeon for our post-op visit. As a natural born worrier, I was so worried as to how he was going to say she was recouping. We have been watching her like a hawk since she has had her surgery. it is imperative that NOTHING hard go into her mouth. Easier said than done. She was sent home with arm restraints to keep her from being able to bend her arms at the elbows, and get anything in her mouth. Any guess how much she likes them? We have tried to keep them off as much as possible, to keep her more comfortable, but there have been times that we have had to resort to her putting them on her, when she gets the itch to get her fingers in there. Does not make for a happy little girl!
To our excitement, the Surgeon said she looked great! He said everything was healing nicely and then gave us the green light  to begin solids. If you remember, she was never offered solids in her Orphanage. We briefly tried offering them to her when we first met her, but because of her open palate, they would immediately come out of her nose and she would begin screaming. We just decided that we would hold off until after the surgery, and then re-introduce them to her. I was a little nervous about trying solids today. He suggested trying pureed baby foods first and then after a few days, try some table food.
So....

We broke out the baby food..and BOY did she LOVE it!!!! We even lost a bow in the process!!

I think we may be on to something. She is going to be SO much happier now that she can eat real food. We saw an instant change in her just after the first jar of food.

The Surgeon said that the chances of the surgery failing (a small percentage do, due to a fistula or trauma) is very narrow. He said in his time, he has only had to go back and re-do a first time palate closure 3 times. Those are pretty good odds. And so his only directions for us were to continue to watch her closely with her fingers, keep hard toys away from her for awhile, and no sharp foods...ohh..and he doesn't need to see her back until November, where she will then be evaluated by the entire Cleft Team. We will keep her on medication for pain, until we see that it has seemed to subside. He said there is no given timeline for how long  she may still have pain. She is currently pretty uncomfortable if we stretch out her doses, and so we are learning that if we keep the doses closer together, she feels better and feeds better.

We are so relieved to have this surgery behind us and to SEE the results. What a blessing to have the ability to have given her this surgery. She is going to do AMAZING!!!

Blessings,
Angie

Mia's Surgery

Surgery Day
We woke at 4:00, got ourselves ready and right before we needed to leave, woke our sleeping girl. She couldn't figure out why we were waking her from a deep sleep, when she was sleeping so soundly. Our nerves were at an all time high. So nervous about the day ahead and what our little princess was going to expect. We drove to the Children's Hospital where we checked on at 5:30am. They quickly got us registered, ushered us back to the Surgery holding area. This is where I lost it. My tears began to flow and before I knew it, I was a sobbing mess. The sweet nurse just put her arm around me and told me "Mamma...it's gonna be alright. She is gonna be JUST fine"..
One by one, the Anesthesiologist, ENT, head OR nurse and Craniofacial Surgeon came in to speak with us. As we waited to speak with each of them, my nerves mounted. Mia was starting to get restless, as she had not had a bottle sine 9pm the night before. Finally it was time for them o take her back to the OR. Boy, did I cry..like a baby. Brian quickly ushered me out of the room and whisked me down to the Cafeteria to try and grab a bite to eat, before the day REALLY got hectic. We managed to eat a light breakfast and then headed up to the Surgical waiting room. As we were in the elevator, the ENT called our cell phone to tell us that he was done with his part, of putting in the tubes, and that Dr. Chen would soon be starting the palate closure. The ENT went on o tell us that he discovered an enormous amount of fluid in each ear and a thickening of the right eardrum wall. He is hopeful that the tubes will help, and we are to return to him for a post check in a few weeks, where he will conduct another hearing test.

Finally, about an hour and 40 min after the surgery began, we saw the head surgeon come out. He explained that he was done, calling the surgery "textbook" and just told us to expect alot of bleeding and swelling. Told us that we could begin to attempt getting her to drink after 24 hours and that whenever she began to drink, we could go home. They ushered us up o ICU just to hold us while she woke up, but the nurses felt like there was excessive amounts of bleeding, and paged the Surgeon to come back in and check her. He had already started another surgery, so we would have to just wait in ICU for him o come back and check. No kidding, as I sat there and held her, we blood soaked at least 3 towels. LOTS of blood! Bright red, pouring blood (sorry, I'm just keeping it real), pouring from her nose and mouth. She looked just pitiful. My heart ached for her as I held her. All I could think, was how she suffered alone after her lip surgery, in China. Left to lay in a hospital crib all alone after surgery and then quickly ushered back to her Orphanage, with little to no post-op care (which is why her lip scar was STILL infected when we got her...5 months AFTER surgery). While I knew this surgery was extremely painful for her, and took her completely off guard, at least I was there to hold her through it. I was there  to console her, rock her, wipe her face.....she had a Mother....
After the Surgeon came by to check her, he quickly assured us all that while it was an enormous amount of blood, it was completely normal (yikes!!) , and would minimize within 24 hours. We were taken up to our room, where we settled in for the day. She spent most of the day zonked out. Slept alot, while we wiped her, cleaned her and rocked her. Later that night, my sweet Aunt came up, so that Brian could go home to be with the Boys. We have our in-laws in for the week taking care of the Boys, which is a huge help. The Boys were so sad at the thought of both of us being gone at night, and so he headed back to the house. Debbie and I managed through the night, taking turns holding our sweet girl and reassuring her that SOON, she would be feeling better.

Post-op Day 1
Well, our little girl is awake today and we have been given orders that we can begin re-introducing the bottle. In my mind, I Really thought she would take immediately to it..but, sadly, I was wrong. She began to kick her feet with excitement, each time she would see me prepare one, but once I would try to get her to suck, she would scream in pain. It was almost as if she couldn't figure out "how" to drink.Like she was going to have to be re-taught. Disappointed, I realized that this was not a good sign, and most definitely would not be getting us home later that day. She began to come around, cheering up, even giving us an occasional smile here and there. We spent the day taking turns holding her, rocking her and trying to play with her, when her spirits lifted.

Post-op Day 2
By 2 days in ANY hospital, you are Done. You are going on no sleep, bad food, no shower, and there is no end in sight to when you MAY get to go home. We are trying again, today, to get her to drink. After no success yesterday, we have asked for the help from one of the Speech Language Pathologists here in the hospital. They work with feeding therapies and can perhaps show us SOMETHING we are not thinking of . They came in with their bag of tricks....small medicine cups, syringes, cleft bottles, juice boxes, Popsicles, ice cream. One by one, we tried them all. NOTHING. She simply rejected them all. Totally defeated, i felt like she may never drink. They told us just to keep offering the bottle and that they would be back tomorrow to help us again. Tomorrow?? Yep, that lets me know we will not be getting out of here anytime soon. well, a few hours after they left our room, she got a little fussy. Since she was due for another dose of pain medicine, i figured that was the reason. Just to try, I offered her another bottle,. She worked with it for awhile, spitting out probably the first ounce or so..but then...she found her rhythm..and she drank.!!! I offered her bottles again every hour and a half or so after that, and thankfully, she continued to drink. She even woke at 3;30 am that night to drink. Thank you, Lord!!!! My heart raced and I could finally see the light at the end of he tunnel.!! Maybe tomorrow!!!!!

 My sweet friend came up to visit us tonight. It was so good to have some company..and another set of hands!! She adopted 2 precious girls from China who were also born with clefts, so she had lots of stories for us. Our nurse that evening was actually one of her Daughters nurses when she had been a patient there years ago for her palate repair. Small world!

Post-Op Day 3
Miss Mia had a rough, restless night again, but managed to take a middle of the night bottle and even wake to take a morning bottle. This is great news!! We anxiously waited for the Surgeon to make his rounds around 8am, where as soon as he walked through the door, I began shouting.."She drank!!! She drank!!!". He was please to hear that she had finally began accepting the bottle and told us the ever so exciting news...that he would immediately go and write our Discharge orders. WOO HOOOO!! I sent my hubby a text, who was on the way to the hospital to visit us and brink us breakfast. He quickly called his Parents who were keeping the Boys at our house and told them the good news, that we were coming home today. We quickly packed up, took one last lap around the floor, saying goodbye to our nurses, and got the heck out of there!!!!

Home!!!

Can i just tell you HOW happy I am that we are home?? There is nothing like your own shower, your own bed, your own surroundings. period. In the hospital, we were literally confined to a rocking chair and couch. Since she had an IV in, she couldn't crawl or wobble around the room..so that meant us holding her ALLDAY and ALLNIGHT. Tough.
We settled in at home Mia instantly began crawling around, playing with all of her toys.. Since she cannot put ANYTHING hard in the mouth for several weeks, it meant putting up lots of toys and bringing out the soft loveys and stuffed animals.
Mia is really struggling with her pain today. It is difficult to get most of her liquid medicine in her, as she gets them through a syringe and manages to spit most of it out. because of her increased pain, she is starting to fuss over the bottle again. Since we have been home, she hasn;t drank as much as she did the last evening in the hospital. I think its a combination of pain and having to relearn how to suck. She tends to favor one side of her mouth, and so if I can get the bottle positioned on that side, we are good. But sometimes she is refusing to let me guide the nipple, and so she pushes it to her "bad" side, which results in screaming..and no intake. I am hoping that if I can stay on top of her pain management at home, she will feel more comfortable with drinking. If there are any cleft Mommas out there who battled this, please email me and give ANY tips you can share! I'll gladly take suggestions.
Aside from the minor hiccups with drinking, we are SO relieved to have this surgery behind us. We knew all along that when we brought her home, we would have this ahead of us..and now, it is behind us.. While we are fully aware of the treatment road she still has in front of her, for a good while, we have a break. She will now learn how to eat solid foods,speak, hear much clearer. Talk about a major improvement in her quality of life!!!
Tonight, she is tucked in her soft, comfy crib. She has her arm restraints on, her pain medicine in and took half of a bottle. Nervous about how the night will go, but I will be sleeping very close nearby, in case she needs me. We are praying for a smooth recovery and hoping that her pain subsides quickly.

I cannot begin to thank all of you who sent texts, emails, voice mails, messages of prayers and encouragement. It meant the world to us and we felt EVERY prayer. We are so lucky to have such an amazing support group, always rallying..always supporting, always praying....we love you all!!!

I will keep you all posted on Mia's progress and recovery. We meet with our Surgeon for  or Post-op visit next week. He will examine her and let us know exactly when we can begin introducing foods.

Hope you have all had a blessed week!!
blessings from HOME,
Angie