An invisible red thread connects those that are destined to meet,regardless of time,place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.~Ancient Chinese Proverb

Friday, June 21, 2013

Break our hearts for what breaks yours......

This week we celebrated 4 months of having sweet Mia in our lives! Boy, is she thriving!!
She is such a joy and just radiates with happiness. My heart just melts when I see her smile.

She is continuing to adjust wonderfully. She is eating and drinking bottles well. She still continues to lose lots of food and formula through her nose, but we knew that was to be expected. It doesn't seem to bother or frustrate her as much as prior to surgery and so thankfully, it is not hindering her appetite. the girl likes to EAT!!
She still struggles with her sleep, waking every night between 1 am and 3 am with horrible nightmares. I go and stand in her room, over her crib and she doesn't even know that I am there. Her head is buried in the sheet and she is screaming the most awful scream. Definite a nightmare. There is no way to NOT want to wake her up out of this fit, and so I get her out , gently try to wake her, rock her, and give her a bottle. Not the best scenario, but I just don't know what else to do. If she was just sitting up in her crib crying every night, I would be more inclined to let her cry it out..but seeing these horrible scary cries, just breaks my heart. Heck, if I was having this bad of a dream, I would hope my husband would wake ME out of it. I'm not certain what causes them, or how long they will last, but obviously...we are hoping that she sleeps soon
The Boys just LOVE playing with their Sister. They are so gentle and kind to her...makes this Momma proud.

The other night, while I was fixing dinner, I inadvertently had the movie Juno on. I sat down to watch it, thinking that the Boys were preoccupied with their toys and games. Well, Nick, our almost 8 year old, came down and sat beside me..glued to the movie. We watched as the potential Adoptive Mother sat and kissed the belly of Juno, whispering to her unborn baby. Tears. We watched as Juno gave birth, lay alone in her hospital bed and cried. Tears. And we finished the movie watching the Adoptive Mother holding her baby boy. Tears.At first I thought about telling him to go play, thinking "This may not be the best movie for someone his age". But instead, I let him sit, just to see if he could follow along. Well, he did. He began to ask questions.."Why is she in school and having a baby?" "Why does she want to give her baby to those other people?", "Why can't she keep her baby?" , " What if the baby is sad and wants it's REAL Mommy?"...oh boy...I THOUGHT we had explained Adoption and what it means, throughout our own process, but apparently he still had questions. And so, I used this time to explain how sometimes circumstances prevent parents from being able to keep their babies. It may be money, may be rules of their Country, or maybe they just don't think they are READY to take care of a baby (this was a tough one, bc why after all would God give you a baby, if you didn't want to take care of it??..This is what he couldn't understand.)
I went on to remind him how Mia's Mommy and Daddy were unable to keep her because she had been born with a bad lip. I explained that in China, it costs alot of money to have surgery to repair deformities and that even then, people don't "LIKE" to see it. I explained that although it was sad, that is why Adoption came to that OTHER families could take these children and give them a home.
My sweet boy started to cry.
Which meant I started to cry.
Oh boy...TEARS.....lots of them..

He got up, went over to where Mia was sitting on the floor, rubbed her back, and I heard him whisper "Mia, I'm SO sorry that your Mommy and Daddy couldn't keep you. I am SO sorry. But we are your family now..and we love you.." He just kept rubbing her back.
Even as I sit and type this, I have tears, just thinking of how the reality of this world affects children.
Sometimes I feel that the conversations we have had with our Boys, especially since returning home from China, may be over their heads or a little heavy. But we taper how we explain things, at the same time, wanting them to understand the sad things that happen in our world. We saw Children with no families, people with no homes, poverty, despair...and we want our children to be humble and thankful for what we have, while showing empathy and compassion for those who don't have. It is a tough conversation, and one that in a few cases, has made us all cry, from the sad reality. but I believe that we SHOULD be sad, we SHOULD cry..."Break our hearts for what breaks yours"...that's how the song goes.
We must humble ourselves in order to truly understand and appreciate what we have.

On a LIGHTER note....Summer is here..which means Farmers Marker trips are back in swing!! I belong to a small co-op group that makes trips to our local Farmers Market once a month. This month was our first month back after a seasonal break. I can't begin to tell you how nice it was to have my fridge and baskets stocked with fresh produce!

I see a peach cobbler in our future!!!

The Boys are just enjoying every minute of Summer.Staying up late, sleeping in a LITTLE late and soaking up the sun outside.

We hope that your Summer is going just fabulous!!!