Guanzhou....a breath of fresh air!

Yesterday, we packed up early and headed to the airport to fly to Guangzhou, where we will spend the least leg of our trip. Our plane was due to take off at 12;20, which meant getting to the airport at 10;30 am. Want to guess what time it actually left, due to delays??? 5;15pm. Needless to say, it was a LOOOOOONG day spent at the airport. The babies were restless, parents were frustrated and everyone was exhausted.
Mia Xin did unbelievably well on the flight. I was so nervous, but luckily, she fell asleep in the Ergo carrier and slept almost all of the flight, only waking as we landed. We met our new guides and finally got checked into our new hotel sometime after 8;30pm.
Guangzhou is totally a breath of fresh air, compared to the cities we have been in. It is at least 25 degrees warmer, way less smog and has much more to see and do....oh..and lets not forget the most important things.....there is a Papa Johns, Starbucks and Mc Donalds with a very short walking distance of our hotel...WOO to the HOO!!!!!
We woke this morning and met down in the lobby with some of the other families to do a personal shopping trip with one of the local shopping guides here in town. She is very well known by adoptive parents who travel here and want to shop...REASONABLY!! I contacted her weeks ago and booked her to take us around this morning. We got some great deals..jewelry, custom Asian dresses for Mia, shoes,pearls from the Pearl Market, souvenirs...we loaded up..and hardly spent much at all. Came back after several hours of shopping and had lunch at one of the delicious Chinese Restaurants in the hotel. Daddy headed downstairs for a paperwork meeting to get Mia's Visa prepared while Little Miss and I hung out alone to do more "bonding". We are slowly getting to know each other. Little by little, we are learning her likes and dislikes, her fears and her joys...
She is the sweetest little girl, who when she smiles, just sends my heart over the moon. This week has been an amazing testament to the love and adoration that these families have for their children. We have watched every ones children just blossom and come alive from the love of having FAMILIES. I shutter to think what would have happen to these children, had someone not been looking for them, searching them out and praying for them. There are so many others like them...all around the world, without families..who may never experience the love that comes from someone wanting them. And so I will urge you..if you EVER thought or talked about adopting, if you ever felt the nudge to even consider it....DO IT!! Don't worry about the details...they will all work themselves out. If you research the process, you will see how easy it is to be done. Everything will fall into place and it will happen....IF you want it, in your heart.
Sure, at first, the details of the process scared the hell out of us. I knew that I would be doing most of the paperwork, and that was extremely daunting. But with the help of an amazing Adoption Agency and meeting others going through the process, it was an easy task and worth every paper cut. Heck......I WILL HELP YOU!!!!:-)))))
Tonight, we are settled in for the evening and are pretty much thinking it's going to bea Papa Johns delivery night. Ohhh, how I am craving some pizza!!!!

Tomorrow we will head to take Mia's Visa photo and the go to have her Medical Exam. All adoptive children must pass all aspects of their physical in order to enter the USA. There is also the option of having her vaccinated to get her "caught up" to US standards, but our agency has provided us with a notarized waiver that we signed to waive all vaccines here in country and wait to have them done by our local Doctor back home. They feel it is best and safer to have them done once back home..and we are all for it! Heck...the way we see it...she is not going to enjoy the visit..but it HAS to go better than her Chinese Hospital visit to have plastic removed from her throat!!! (Uggghhh....I  still cringe when think about that whole deal)..
Missing you all and praying to be able to have Face book unblocked soon.....It is so hard to not be able to hear from friends..

enjoy a few photos from our day.....

Open Wide!!!

When we received Mia on the first day, the first thing I did was to check her palate. We were told that she had a Stage 3 open palate, but pictures we received previously were pretty hard to make out. When I looked in, I didn't see any hole...only a huge whitish matter that was covering the palate and running down her throat. I knew instantly, from working as a Dental Hygienist, that it was something foreign and NOT supposed to be there. I initially thought that it may be congealed or dried formula. It is important to clean the palate after feeding, especially with an open palate, and I was almost certain that was never done. We inquired about it several times and were assured that it was skin or to possibly try "wiping" it off. I tried wiping it and cleaning as best as I could with a wash cloth, only to see that it was firmly attached and would need to be removed. Still, we were assured it was nothing.
Finally after 2 nights of screaming, we insisted that she be seen by a Doctor. They agreed to take us to a local hospital and have her seen by an Oral Surgeon. When he began to inspect her palate, he said the same thing...it is a yeast/fungal infection, and just needs to be "wiped off". Bullshit...sorry...but come on...you could LOOK at it and tell that it could be peeled off. I begged him to use tweezers and try to pull it off (nothing with the mouth scares me...especially when it comes to my child!!). He agreed and could not believe it when he removed a 5 inch piece of hard plastic paper that  ed been lodged in her open palate!!! WHAT?!? When he pulled it out, I thought I was going to die...PLASTIC PAPER????You've got to be kidding me!! It had been there for a long time, and formula had dried to it, giving it a yellowish appearance.
Well, needles to say, once he removed it, she has been able to drink her bottles like a champ. We have not tried any solid foods yet, but before hand, she was unable to swallow anything solid..hmm...wonder why???
The moral of this story is to ALWAYS trust your gut. I knew that something was wrong and should have put my foot down when i first saw it.
Since she didn't sleep at all last night and was wiped out from her hospital experience (which let me just describe as nothing short of chaotic), she has been sleeping all day. Poor thing is worn slap out. She did manage to suck down 2 full bottles right before conking out....poor thing.
This sweet girl is having it so rough. Tomorrow we fly to Guangzhou. I have been assured that the remainder of the trip should improve from here on out. It is supposedly at least 20 degrees warmer where we are headed with lots to do outside...parks, gardens, shopping...no foreign objects lodged in throats....;-)
We pray that she does well on the flight. It is only about a 2 hour flight, but since many cleft babies have lots of ear problems due to all of their fluid, We are hoping the altitude is not too painful. How she does will give us a slight indication of how the 15 hr plus ride home will be......
Once we got back to the hotel, we decided to venture out for lunch. We headed out with some other families and enjoyed a nice, authentic Chinese meal. Mia slept in the Ergo carrier the whole time and is still asleep as I type this....

We are pretty much DONE for the day. Just going to let little Miss sleep and recover. Tonight we are anxious to face time back home with our family and Boys who we are missing SO much. We are so thankful to have such amazing Grandparents watching over them while we are away. The "2nd shift" is in now, and "3rd shift" will take over tomorrow for the rest of the trip. The Boys have done great so far and we are praying that things go smoothly while we are away. They are so anxious to meet their little Sister. It is so sweet seeing them facetime with her..always wanting to tell her something or show her something..she is one lucky little girl......but WE are most definitely the LUCKIEST!!!
Packing our bags and flying out tomorrow for our last Province...woo hoo!!!!

For those of you who have left sweet messages and comments on Facebook....FB is a blocked site here in Zhengzhou. I can access my page and make limited posts, but am not able to read ANY comments or messages...only see that I have them. I am so anxious to get to the next City tomorrow and hope to find better internet reception, as I am desperately missing my "love notes of encouragement" from back home. Thank you all for supporting us with your sweet words..our spirits have definitely dipped a little since not being able to view them. Love you all!!!xxxxx

blessings,
Angie

Baby Steps

We have now had Mia in our arms for 3 days. These last 3 days have been filled with so many emotions...happiness, worry, pure joy, sadness, fear, anxiety, gratitude...the list goes on and on. When she was handed to us, my heart felt so content. We FINALLY had our girl! The little girl we had been praying for for over a year. The little girl whose picture we had been staring at for over 4 months...and now, she is OURS. What I wasn't expecting, was the intense fear that came over me. Mia came to us grieving HARD. She would scream out, as if she was in pain, just randomly. It was the saddest thing to watch.
But, now 3 days later, I am SO happy to report that we have made baby steps of improvement. Like peeling back those layers of the onion, she is coming alive..and what a precious little girl she is blossoming into , right before our eyes. Witnessing the slow transformation from Orphan to Daughter is truly eye opening. It's similar to watching your newborn learn things for the very first time. Same thing...but she is almost 15 months. We have watched her learn how to use her hands. She has just l;earned how to pick things up. She learned how to play with toys, she is starting to learn to crawl, trying to stand while holding onto Daddy's fingers, Watched her take a bath in the bathtub...her first time ever. It was so bittersweet to see her figure it all out. we just sat there, watching in amazement as she splashed and played. We also learned a bit about the way she prefers to take her bottles. When I hold her, she will push herself back until she is laying completely flat. They she likes to hold the bottle herself and feed. Each time I would try to raise her up, at an incline, she would scream hysterically and push herself back down flat on her back. I later learned that the way she was fed in her Orphanage was by tying a rope across the two slats of her crib. A bottle was ties in the middle of the rope and hung over her head. She would grab the bottle overhead and position it, to feed herself. Makes complete sense as to why she prefers for us to feed her that way, but what a sad thought.

Please ignore the huge mound of dirty laundry in the background! We are living out of suitcases for 9 days....

Today we decided to venture out and see a little of the City. Its a big city..people, cars and mopeds everywhere. Watch out or you will get run over. People here are so fascinated by us. They will just stop on the street, grab their phones, come up to us and start taking photos. Throw a Chinese baby in the mix..and you REALLY get stares. We were told that the public here doesn't fully understand that we are here adopting. They don't know what it means. We don't really understand HOW they don't know what it means, especially given the political stance on the one child rule. I mean...where do they think all of the Orphans go?? Why do they think we are here? Do they think we are stealing their kids? It's kind of strange, but none the less, we definitely get stared at everywhere we go.
We decided to try out another local restaurant today. We were going to try the chicken...until we noticed the wire cages out front of the place..with live chickens in them. We opted for the pork, instead....

As I mentioned before, we are slowly watching this sweet girl come to life. She is smiling, grabbing for us, laughing and playing The day we got her, she could hardly sit on her own. She was not crawling or picking up toys. Today, all of that has changed.She still has moments where she will shut down or burst into tears as if she is in pain..but for the most part, we most definitely see that she is beginning to trust us. It is truly amazing what LOVE can do for a child.
We love her much...more than we could have even imagined. When i look into her huge, brown almond eyes, i am reminded what a blessing she truly is....and how she was FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made by GOD.....

Tomorrow, we will spend our last day here in Zhengzhou and on Saturday, fly to Guangzhou, where we will stay out the last leg of our trip. While there has been very little to do or see here, it is a place that will always be special to us...the place we met our Daughter..

Blessings from China.....
Angie

Gotcha Day!!!

At last...Monday Feb.18th arrived!! The day we would finally meet our Daughter!!
We woke early that morning, too nervous to eat breakfast. Headed down to meet the rest of our group and piled into the bus that would drive us to the Civil Affairs Office. I was a bundle of nerves on the way there. Our guide spoke to us about what to expect once we were united with our little ones. They also told us that since our Orphanage was the closest, that Xin Xin would probably be the first to arrive. We we pulled in and got our hearts prepared to see her sweet face.

To our surprise, other kiddos had already arrived. Nannies started calling names and bring little ones to their families. It was one of the most emotional things I have ever experienced. I cried as I tried to take videos and pictures for these other families that we have grown to know and love. Seeing them meet their children for the first time, was a vision I will never ever forget. It was almost like watching someone give birth..sounds silly..but JUST as emotional. I knew that there was another family there who was adopting a 6 year old little girl, who was also from Xin Xin's Orphanage. I saw a van pull up and could see that there was one older child and a baby coming out. I yelled for Brian, who was across the room videoing for another family.."She's HERE!!" We rushed to the door to see them arrive. They walked past us, wanting to find the parents of the 6 year old girl first. We followed behind, taking in every ounce of our girl. The nanny called her name and we rushed up to take her. They placed her in my arms...where she will forever stay..

She had her eyes tightly shut, lips pursed and was crying. She was in full "shut down mode" . She was scared , confused and just not happy. As soon as they handed her to me, I felt the worst rattle in her chest. I knew that she was sick. They told me she had started with a cold a few days before and gave me some sort of "antibiotic" to keep her on. We muddled through the paperwork, while she continued to cry. It was heartbreaking to watch her in such a state. She was simply terrified.
I had read stories and watched gotcha day videos and was fully aware of how children grieve, but honestly, due to her young age, I thought we were "in the clear"...Wrong...She was so sad and it broke my heart to see her so unhappy. I continued to stroke her face and kiss her...which just seemed to add to her unhappiness.
The rest of that day is honestly a blur. As I sit here typing it over 2 days later..I feel as if I cant even remember the details. I just know that she was sad. I would show her forms of affection and she would scream, as if I was hurting her. My poor girl.
Our amazing guide from our agency, Rita, noticed what a hard time we were having. She didn't want to eat for us, just seemed to shut down emotionally. She called the Orphanage several times for us, just asking the Nanny questions that may help us ease her transition. They stressed to Rita that Xin Xin is an extremely shy little girl. If strangers would come to the room, she would clam up and cry. She has only been cared for by one older Nanny, who smells a certain way, looks a certain way, talks a certain way. Then, the thing that broke my heart was when Rita told me that she had been given "no love" before. I broke down. She doesn't know how to handle all of this affection we are throwing at her, she told me. How sad. She has never been rocked, caressed,..nothing. Rita assured me that over time, kind of like peeling back the layers of an onion peel, she would come around. But for now, she was in shock. And trust me....she was. She would just tense up, ball her fists until they turned blue and scream.
Fast forward to the next day..still grieving, still sick..and its time to make the adoption official! Again, I feel like I was in a fog. I remember signing the papers, taking the photo..but my thoughts were focused on the sweet girl in my arms, who was still so sad.

Later that evening, after I gave her a bottle, she seemed to come alive. We sat her on the bed..still wobbly..and she smiled.. Oh, my heart soared!!!! She tried playing with some toys, taking everything in. I swear I don't think she has ever seen her fingers, with all of those layers she had on. She would just stare at her hands...touching each finger...
The second night went much better. She woke twice in the night, but didn't want to eat, only to be cuddled a little bit and then fell back asleep.
Today we are on day 3 with her, and I feel that we have made some HUGE steps in progress. She has reached out for me, figured out how to grasp her toys, and is even starting to try to crawl.She is coming to life..and I love watching every second of it!
I was sop surprised by how much smaller she is. They say 18 lbs..no way..She is wearing a size 1 diaper, her 18 mos clothes hang off of her. She can barely sit unsupported, cant crawl (I think her update photos were staged)lol. She has alot of catching up to do, but I have faith that we will make the strides, together.
In the 2 1/2 days we have had her, she has experienced so many new things. First car ride, first time out of the Orphanage (they weren't ever taken outside), first hugs, kisses, new faces, new clothes, new smells, first time in a bathtub. That's enough, when you sit down and think about it, to scare the hell out of anybody!!
We will remain constant and steady with her care, teaching her that WE are her new parents, the ones who will meet ALL of her needs..whatever they may be. I have so many pictures to show you the strides we have made..but that will have to be for another post.
We have no adoption related meetings for the next few days, which means just hanging out and bonding around the hotel. Today and tomorrow many families will be driving into their Child's City and visiting and touring their Orphanage. We have decided to opt out of the tour. We are just now making progress with her, and as much as we would love to see and take pictures of the room and place that she spent the first 14 mos of her life, we feel that we need to focus on her FUTURE, and that taking her back, even to visit, would cause us major setbacks. We have another family who will be traveling to visit, and they  have offered to take some photos for us; just to have.We will mingle with some of the other families here, if little miss is up for it. Even when we leave the room, she tenses around strangers...and so for the next few days, we will just let her dictate what we do. If it means hunkering down in our hotel room, for her to feel safe with just us....lunch and dinner will just have to come via room service!

I want to thank each and every person who has commented on the blog, on facebook and thru personal emails. I have read EVERY single word and am hanging on them all. The other night, in my midst of despair, I hit my knees on the bathroom floor of our hotel room and just sobbed. I prayed for our sweet girls health, for her heart, and for wisdom for US, as her new family, to know what to do. I reached out thru Fb asking for prayers...and saw the power of prayer come to life. Our little one is slowly starting to get a little better, health wise. She is eating for us, sleeping for us, and even reaching for me. Oh, be still my heart. When i pick her up, she clings to my neck and buries her head in the curve of my neck.If I hold her, she will just sleep in my arms. You can feel her body relax..and I fell that she is beginning to feel some peace....thanks to all of the prayers coming from back home. I am humbled and amazed at the outpouring of support we are getting during this trip. It is hard. 19 days away, and we are only on day 9. We have much longer to go, and will still ask for prayers to get us through. We stand in awe at Gods work. He brought us to this little girl and will give us the peace we need to teach her all abut love and family. And so, again, from both of us..thank you so much for following our journey, supporting us and praying for us when we need it. We love you ALL!!

Hugs and slobbering kisses from Zhengzhou!!!!
Angie

Arrive in Zhengzhou!!

Wheww!!! Today was a  L O N G day!! We left the hotel at 7;30 am to head to the Beijing Airport to fly to Zhengzhou. Got there only to learn that the flight would be delayed due to "heavy fog"..aka  "extreme smog".
Over 3 hours later, we finally took off on what I swear was one of the worst, most turbulent plane rides I have ever been on. I was petrified and prayed the entire flight. I practically ran off the plane once we landed!
Later in the afternoon, we headed to our new hotel. On the way there we were given details about how our Gotcha Day would go tomorrow. Wait....did i just say TOMORROW?!?
We were given an updated schedule of Mia's as well as her favorite formula and types of foods she is currently eating. Once we got to the hotel, we quickly dropped our luggage off and headed as a group to Wal-Mart. You should have seen all of us Adoptive Families scurrying through Wal-Mart, stocking up for our new little ones. We walked back to the hotel and headed for dinner with the group. Luckily there are lots of restaurants attached to our hotel, so it makes it easy for meals. Tonight we opted for Italian....a much needed change!! It was so good. 2 bottles of wine later, we headed upstairs to unpack Mia's things and prepare for our BIG DAY.
Tomorrow, 8 sets of lives will change forever. 8 Orphans will gain their forever families...and we will gain the missing links to our families that we have been praying for. I stand in awe at how far God has brought us on this journey. From a whisper, nudging us to adopt...to a hotel room in China, preparing to meet the sweet little girl that will become our Daughter.
Tonight we are filled with so many emotions. Fear, anxiety, excitement. Tonight Mia will spend her very last night in an Orphanage. Tomorrow she will have a family there to love her, care for her, console her...whenever she needs anything. We worry over how she will react to seeing us. Will she be scared? Will she grieve? Tonight we pray that when we meet, her little heart will be open to us and free from fear. We pray that she quickly realizes how much we love her and that she will forever be safe in or arms.

We want to extend our most heartfelt thanks to all of our sweet friends and family who have been rallying for us, while we are away. Trust me when I say that your prayers are felt. It is such a welcomed sight to log on to our computers to find messages and emails from you, cheering us on. It has helped to ease our worries and fears. We cant wait for you all to follow along on tomorrow's big events......

Next post...with Mia!!!!!!

blessings,
Angie

Last Day in Beijing

What do you do when it is 10:30 pm in China, you are STARVING, but you just don't think you can handle anymore Chinese food for the day??

You order room service and beg them to bring you a Cheeseburger, french fries and a Coke. Thank you, Lord!!!

Things that make you go hmmmm......

Doesn't every hotel give you gas masks...."just in case"????

Can we talk about these beds?? They may LOOK comfortable, but trust me when we say..we have the backaches to prove that they are NOT! Hard as a brick. Today our Guide told us that Chinese people prefer to sleep on very firm beds. He said the higher the quality of hotel, the firmer the beds....well...that explains everything!!

Today we set out for our last day of touring in Beijing. First we headed to the Jade Market, where we got to watch them make jade, learn all about how to tell the difference in the different qualities, and then of course..SHOP. It was really fascinating, and of course, I left with 2 jade bracelets!

Next...was the big one...The Great Wall of China!! People in China say you are not a real "hero" until you have climbed The Great Wall. Well, I guess we have achieved hero status!! Out of breath, legs shaking..we did it. The view was absolutely amazing, from anywhere you stopped along the Wall. I cannot believe we have now seen one of the Seven Wonders of the World!

To replenish our energy, we ate at another local Chinese Restaurant. The food was again served family style and we tried some of everything...except the Ox Tail Soup....

This is the Amazing Group of families that we are traveling with , all of whom will meet their new Children with us on Monday.

Tonight we will go see a Chinese Acrobatic Show and then hit a local Restaurant for the Peking Duck that Brian has been dying to try.
Tomorrow we say goodbye to Beijing and fly to Zhengzhou. This is where we will meet Mia and spend the next week.

Goodnight from Beijing! Next post....Zhengzhou!!!

blessings,
Angie