I still wake up, pinching myself that WE are the ones lucky enough to get to raise this sweet little girl. She fills our life with such joy. Her inquisitive almond shaped eyes, her big smile, her scrunched nose...simply PERFECT in our eyes.
We thank God for sending us on a path to find her and bring her into our family...
At times, it seems like our time spent in China was sooo very long ago. The emotions were so fresh and raw during our time there, that I feel like I came and went, but barely "remember" it..ya know? I wish I could replay the clock..go back..do it over (knowing how things would turn out, and that she would most definitely be OK), taking in every moment of our time there. The journey..the experience..the culture..the people....after all..it all represents who she is and where she came from. And so here we sit, 3 months later, with those travel memories a little faded, but this sweet girl who absolutely LOVES her new home.
Someone told me the other day.."Well, she HAS to be used to you now...what comes next..when it will come..that you will be there..ya know??' But there are moments when i think...what if she doesnt really KNOW what's next?? I mean..do most 3 months old REALLY know who and what they can rely on?? That's still how we think of her..as this little 3 month old (not literally of course)..but just as a new BirthMom holds her 3 month old baby..that is how long I have gotten to hold OUR little girl..only 3 short months. When she clings to my neck, grabs for me, begs to be snuggled..I just think...I could hold this little blessing 24 hours a day for MONTHS and still not make up for the 15 months she was never held, rocked or loved on..And so that is just what I will do...
She deserves never-ending hugs, kisses and snuggles....and I cant help but still be brought to tears when I think of how long she went without those basic human needs.
We love you beyond measure, sweet baby girl!!.....and you will never be without all of the snuggles you can stand...this I promise you....
