Finding our groove

Well, it is hard to believe that it has been ONE MONTH  since first meeting and holding our precious little girl. When I think back to that day, I am filled with all different emotions. Mostly, the same emotions I experienced on the days I gave birth to my Boys....pure excitement, an overwhelming love and a tad bit of fear/anxiety. All of these emotions were felt a month ago, along with an overwhelming sadness. The sadness came when they handed me this week, tiny girl, who was in total shock, sick and just an inconsolable mess. How could my heart not break for her. I would soon come to learn how she had spent her first 15 mos of life, so very different than our Boys. An orphan, with no parents who were able to love her and care for her. She didn't know what it FELT like to be held and consoled....

BUT......

She does NOW!!!
We are SLOWLY finding our groove. 2 weeks home and TRYING to find a routine. Sometimes I feel as if we are simply surviving. I am able to get everyone fed, clothed, bathed, homework done, snuggle time with each kiddo......and that's about it. The dishes are still piling in the sink. The clothes hampers overflowing, and the house "appears" clean on the surface....but....

I haven't had a full night of sleep since the night before we got Mia (probably should get used to that, bc I don't see that changing anytime soon), bathroom breaks have resumed to require the door OPeN at all times, and I now have a jumper-roo standing outside of my shower, so that Mia can see me while Im attempting to stay clean. Maybe by the time Summer rolls around, I will be able to shave a WHOLE leg again.

The Boys are doing amazing. Continuing with Karate. They both earned their next belts, while we were in China. They keep me laughing with the silly things that come out of their mouths. Yesterday, Nick informed we that we needed to go back to China soon, because he needed another Brother to sit in the back of the car with him. He went on to say that he would like this next child to be older and that he would help me with all of the paperwork. ....wow.....pretty amazing thoughts for a 7 year old.
They are just so in love with their Sister and the other day told me they only wished we had found her when she was "just born". Me too, Boys....me too.

This weekend, we traveled to the Coast to fix up the beach house for rental season. Mia got to see the Ocean ,and since it was still much to cold for swimming, the Boys are begging to come back as soon as it warms up.

This week we prepare for Mia's surgery consult with the CleftTeam. In case any of you are unfamiliar with Mia's medical condition; she was born with a congenital cleft lip AND palate (roof of mouth). She basically had no upper lip at birth (which was corrected in China). Her palate is still very open (which essentially means she has no bone in the roof of her mouth. It is completely open and leads straight up to her nose). It makes drinking very difficult and eating nearly impossible. Anything she does eat or drink, eventually comes out of her nose, which makes for one cranky baby. Most cleft babies to not have a suck reflex and have to be fed with special bottles that allow you to squeeze the milk into their mouth for them to swallow. (Kind of like feeding a  baby bird). To our surprise, probably as a survival mechanism, Mia can actually suck a bottle. She does need the special nipples that come with the cleft bottles (much wider holes), but she is able to manage to drink on her own. That is a huge plus! We will meet with the Team which consists of a Craniofacial Surgeon (who will close her palate), and ENT and a plastic Surgeon. I have to admit that I am getting very nervous about the visits and even more so, about her impending surgery. She is adjusting so well to her new surroundings, my fear is that we will regress in our attempts to bond with her. It already breaks my heart to know the pain that she will face with the surgery and recovery, but know that these surgeries are needed to improve her quality of life. At least she HAS the opportunity for the repair..and she will have a loving family there to hold her, the whole way through.

We also met with our Social Worker for our first post-adoption visit. Would you believe that China requires that we have home visits with our Social Worker for 6 YEARS?!? I will just keep those thoughts to myself, and smile through the visits. We have a wonderful Social Worker, Jill, who will get us through the visits as painlessly as possible.

Well, since I took the time to update this blog, that meant one more load of laundry got pushed aside..so, I'd better get back to my Mommy duties..
So glad there are still some of you out there following along!!!

Next blog will update Mia's surgery plan....

Blessings,
Angie

Less than a week

In less than a week since being home, I have seen, firsthand, what love, hugs, nurturing and support can do for a child. When I think back to the first week, when they placed our Daughter in our arms, my heart starts to cringe. What a sad, scared little girl she was. Never loved, seldom ever held and unaware of how powerful those things could truly be, if she was ever given the chance to experience them. My heart broke in half for her. I cried, prayed, worried. Would she soften and come to trust us?? I knew the answer to be YES, but my heart was in the moment, and at THAT moment, she was grieving and shutting down on us. If catatonic is a word...that was how she was. Petrified..screaming her head off.....I worried that I just may scare this little being to death!!!
Fast forward to less than one full week HOME....

I can honestly say that this sweet girl has experienced PURE JOY everyday!!! She laughs, cackles, and beams these huge smiles that send this Momma over the edge and into TEARS!! The Boys will often ask me.."Mommy why are you crying when Mia is laughing??". Because. Because I have seen where she came from...and where she is now.....and it reminds me that our God is a faithful GOD..full of promise, hope and goodness....and I see it, every time I look into her almond shaped eyes.

This little thing has had her world rocked in the last 3 weeks. Taken from a cold Orphanage, where she fed herself, was rarely changed, seldom picked up....But..that was her NORMAL. What she was used to.
Then she met us. We wanted to kiss her all over, feed her (ourselves), change her clothes and diapers (regularly) and even stick her in this strange thing called a bathtub..everyday!!! What in the world!!!
We had to take a step back and realize that all of these things combined, may just be too much for her. So, we will just stick to the important stuff...constant hugs, smiles, and getting that severe diaper rash under control (yikes!! I have never seen anything quite like it!!..think burn victim) We are letting her feed herself her bottles , since she is used to that...and we are holding off on the baths (which seem to send her into another stratosphere) and just resorted to warm sponge baths (a little less traumatic). I try not to change her outfits three times a day (like i thought i would want to with a little girl!!). She doesn't like being naked or having her diaper changed..which i totally get.
She has encountered so many firsts, which are truly amazing to watch. She has met family and friends, discovered toys, and began to learn how to explore her new home. It is so heart warming to sit back and watch her take it all in. She seems to like her crib and is sleeping "fairly well". I only feed her one bottle in the middle of the night, and she seems to sleep contently for the "second stretch" of her night.The Boys are simply head over heels in love with her. They are the best big brothers and are so kind and attentive to her needs. She just beams when she sees them.
Someone mentioned to me early on in our adoption process that "they could never raise someone Else's child".....For some reason, I keep coming back to that comment. This little girl is OUR child. God knew her plans..her destiny...HE knew that her Birth parents would be unable to keep her...and at the same time, HE knew how much we longed to love a little girl. I am so eternally grateful for HIS goodness. Adoption can't be described any other way that HIS will. It is truly a blessing.
When I look into her eyes, I am overcome with love. When  they handed her to me n that day in the Civil Affairs office in China..I had the very same feeling as when my Doctor placed my two newborn Boys on my body, after delivering them. It was every bit the EXACT same feeling. Here was the little girl I had been dreaming of, praying for and longing to hold..and she was MINE....
We are settling (slowly) into our "routine". I have seemed frazzled, overwhelmed and emotional this week..but I have to keep reminding myself, that it is just like coming home from the hospital after giving birth, a week later. We will find our groove, eventually. But for now, we are enjoying the peace that comes from all being under one roof together. The toys are strewn all over the place, the dishes are piled up, the laundry is overflowing..but we are together and complete.
Here are some shots from our first week home!!

Blessings,
Angie

HOME!!!

Saturday morning, we packed up our things and said goodbye to China! While we were BEYOND ready to be back in the comforts of our own home Country, to hold our Boys and to have our family finally meet our precious girl, I must admit, I found myself getting a little sentimental over leaving our Daughters homeland. This was the birthplace of our child. Her Biological parents are here...and we are taking her from all that she has known. While it is truly the best move, it still tugged at my heartstrings, leaving behind her culture, heritage and unknown family...

Mia did unbelievably well on both flights. The first 3 hour flight, she slept through most of. She stayed awake for our layover in Korea, and once on our long 13 hour flight back to the States, we put her down to sleep around what would have been 9 pm her time. She slept at least 6-8 hours of that flight, and didn't even really get fussy until the very end..but, hey, who could help it?? Even Brian and I were fussy by then!!
 We finally cleared US Immigration an hour after landing and headed home. We had a 3 hour car ride back to our house....and Mia slept through almost the entire drive. Since it was almost midnight when we arrived, both Boys were fast asleep. We woke Nick, but only for a moment. Alex wasn't even hearing of waking up...he was passed out. Some of our family was there anxiously awaiting our return, and had decorated our house in Mia's honor of coming home. It was SOOOOO good to be back! Running water, a hot shower, comfort food and my family....there truly is NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!
Mia went straight to the family that was there waiting, without hesitation. She loved them just as much as they loved her. t was a perfect homecoming! The next morning, the Boys woke bright and early to meet their Sister. they were all over her!! Constantly wanting to hold her, touch her, try to make her laugh. She took some time to take them all in (they are a little overwhelming at times!!lol), but she instantly took to them, and is just ecstatic to have these amazing 2 Big Brothers!
We are settling into our "new normal". I'm not going to lie....I'm going to have to figure this whole "3 kid" thing out. It seems a little overwhelming at times, but I know that with time, we will figure out a routine. Mia demands most of the attention right now and we are working hard to form a good attachment with her. She looks so happy in the pictures we post, but trust me when I say, that bond took time and trust...and we will continue to reassure her of our love and trust everyday. She has changed and come so far so  much in just 2 weeks. She went from being a panic stricken little one who couldn't even sit up on her own, to a friendly, smiling little blessing who can sit, crawl and is even TRYING to pull up by herself. We are working on her sleep routine (she seemed not to have one at all in China). We are trying to put her down at a certain bedtime and wake her at a scheduled wake up time in the morning. We are only on Day 1 of this...so we will get back to you, on how it's working out......
Today she went for her complete check-up with our Pediatrician. They began to get her caught up on her vaccines (that is going to take multiple visits), she had her blood work done (which all checked out better than expected), and had a full physical. She is very tiny for her age (plotted at -5% for weight and head circumference and 50% for height).They stressed to bump up her intake of formula and try to begin getting her to take some baby food. She had gained 5ounces since a week ago...woo hoo!!!! Now weighing in at a whopping 16.12 lbs!!!
She will need to make strides to catch up, but she is thriving and happy...and 2 weeks after having her, that is ALL we can ask for.
Here are a few photos from our first 2 days home........

We were welcomed home by so many phone calls and messages, which made us feel so loved. We cannot thank you  all, again, for praying us through this trip. We are so blessed to have you as a support team. We promise to call, visit and get out......at some point...but for now, we are just focusing on figuring this whole new life out. We are so excited to watch this little girl blossom into the happy, healthy girl, she was destined to become...we only wish we could have met her 15 months ago.......

More to come!!!!!

With love from HOME,
Angie

Last Post from China!!!!

HOORAY!!!! This will be our last blog post from China!
While we have enjoyed getting to come and visit the birth country of our Daughter and learn all we can about her culture, let me be the first to tell you how excited we are that it is finally time to return home!! Ohh, do I miss the States!!! Drinkable water, comfort food, a washing machine...ohh...and lets  not forget, my 2 favorite things...MY BOYS!!!!!
Tomorrow, we will check out of the hotel at 10 am and head for the airport. we will fly 3 1/2 hours to Seoul, Korea. We will hub there for about 2 hours and then hop on our last plane that will take us home to the USA. We will land in Atlanta at around 6;30pm (after a looong 13 hr. flight). So, in case you missed it...that will be over 16 hours in a plane...with a baby.....FUN!!! I pity the poor folks on our flight. Something tells me we will be making lots of laps around the plane and lots of calls for the stewardess to bring us hot water for bottles. Lets hope she sleeps some, to make the flight A LITTLE easier. Once we land, we will hop in our car and drive another 3 hours home...Wheww......long day already, and it's not even here yet. But that's OK, because we will be headed home to begin our new life as a Family of 5!!!

Today, we basically just hung out and did some last minute shopping around town. There are 3 or 4 families in our group still left, so we have been just kind of mulling around together. We ventured to the local Wal-Mart for one last box of formula and wipes for the flight home. I have included some photos from our shopping trip. There is nothing quite like a Chinese Wal-Mart!!!

Want to see how we have been living for the last 18 days?? Out of a suitcase, and quite messy!! Notice the "No drinking tap Water" signs above the sink, and the washcloth over the faucet to REMIND us not to?! I have heard bad, bad things happen if you drink the water..and by the way they all emphatically stress for you NOT to..it must be true. So, we have lived off of bottled water..and lots of it. My hair is in deep need of a keratin hydrating conditioner treatment when i get home. Im not sure if it is their water or shampoo, but this hair of mine has never felt worse!! Let's face it...after this trip...I am in need of a full body massage, pedicure, manicure, haircut, brow wax, clean set of clothes...OH....and a full nights sleep!!!

Mia Xin slept pretty good again last night. 3 hour uninterrupted stretches, before waking for a bottle. Brian woke feeling better today with NO fever...so THANK YOU for all of your prayers!!! We did not need him sick for our long trek home!

Tonight we will meet for one last dinner with the few remaining couples that are left here. Would you believe that there is a Japanese Hibachi Restaurant here in our hotel...so, that;s where we will be!!! We had our last Chinese lunch this afternoon, and Brian quickly begged me to refrain from asking him to eat Chinese food for quite awhile once we are back home. Fine by me!!!

Our time here getting to know Mia Xin has been a whirlwind. She has changed so much in the week and a half we have had her in our arms. Even the couples in our group comment on how much they have seen her grow and change. She smiles at us, grabs for us, laughs, and just gazes up at me with her sweetest brown almond eyes, as I am holding her. We could not be happier to have found her and have her in our lives. We know that the Boys are so excited to see her!! They are all just going to adore each other!!

I want to extend our most heartfelt thanks to the 3 sets of Grandparents who jumped in with both feet and were so sweet to watch the Boys for us while we were on this trip. We know that it took alot on your parts and we are so happy to have you to call on. You kept the Boys happy and healthy and upbeat while we have been away. This has not been an easy trip for ANY of us, but knowing that  they were in your care made it so much more do-able. It was a sacrifice for ALL of our family...but, no doubt, one that was beyond worth it. We wold have traveled to the moon and back to bring this little girl home.

And to our dear friends who have rallied us through this trip, with your prayers, emails, and messages...we love each and every one of you! You all are the most supportive group of friends that a couple could ask for and we hope you know what each one of your emails and messages of support have meant to us. We have felt every drop of love from back home...and for that, we are eternally grateful.

I want to say a special thank you to our Sons' teachers, who went above and beyond to make the Boys feel extra special while their Mommy and Daddy were away. You had them in their care for the long school days, when breakdowns could have taken place, or crying could have ensued, due to our absence, but with your love and extra TLC, they did amazing. We are so lucky to have amazing teachers like YOU!!!!

We are so happy that you have taken such an interest in following our blog. It is amazing to read comments from people around the world that we don't even know..CRAZY!!! We will attepmt to keep our blog active and update it frequently, once we are back home and settled into our "new normal". Again...thanks so much for riding this crazy ride to China and back with us....

Love, for the LAST time, from China!!!!!!
Angie